Grasping For Air Page 6

  The heat from his hand encompasses my length, squeezing with strength as he slowly milks it up and down.

  “More,” I moan. I jump when I feel his tongue lick up my length. From bottom to top, stopping only long enough to lick up the liquid trying it’s best to spill out of me.

  I hear a groan come from Daniel’s mouth, and my eyes pop open to look down. Our gazes meet, and I’m damn near ready to blow. I can see the motion from between his own legs as he beats his cock in a heavy rhythm. His mouth works further down my length. I fight to keep my eyes on his. To show him exactly what he does to me.

  Nothing has ever felt more natural than seeing Danny-boy on his knees for me. The only thing that could make it any better is if Danika were out here with us. Her breathy sighs would make this moment perfection.

  “Just like that, Danny-boy. Just”— I pump into his mouth—“like”—I pull his hair, tilting his head further back—“that.” My balls swell, and my spine tingles as I explode into a raging mess.

  Bliss flows through me, leaving me victim to Daniel’s ministrations as he swallows every drop of my seed. Licking up and down my dick, sucking the tip back into his mouth until I’m so sensitive I can’t stand to be touched.

  Dragging him to his feet, my mouth crashes over his in a brutal meeting, and I taste the saltiness on his tongue as I dominate Daniel into compliance.

  “Fuck, D.” I’m out of breath as we part. “Wow,” a soft voice says from behind us. I’m beginning to think Danika enjoys spying on us.

  Danika

  Sweet baby Jesus. What am I witnessing?

  I knew they were close. I knew they had feelings for each other, and I have been lost in the sight of their lips touching. The reverence in which they carress each other, the pure joy they reflect, and it leaves a girl breathless.

  And makes her question her purpose in their presence.

  They don’t need me, not for this. Not ever.

  They’re breathtaking together. Both are so handsome it should be illegal. Their stares alone are transfixing, and I always get lost in their depths.

  “Why do you need me when that was so…so…” I’m at a loss for words as they watch me, not bothering to cover up, and I’m lost in the perfection of their bodies. “Mesmerizing.”

  “We need you because you make us…this…possible,” Daniel says, a shy smile on his face.

  I look down after his response because I don’t feel worthy. Of any of it. Them. I’ve always been a bit of a mess, but with these two men, it seems I’m flipping both sides of the crazy coin, and I can’t find my footing.

  “But you guys…” I trail off, unsure of what I’m going to say.

  “We need you, mi amore, because you’re one-third of our whole. Without you, we’re missing a huge, important piece of our lives.” Daniel always did seem to be the more sensitive of the two, and he continues to prove it.

  “He’s right, Nika, there’s no us without you. I never made a move on him before because it always felt like something—someone—was missing, and until your sass showed up, I didn’t know what that was.” I blush at Dimitri’s words because I was a pain in the ass. I only wanted to get him out of his own head. I saw the agony he was in. “I knew, beyond anything else, that when Danny-boy woke up, he’d love you every bit as much as I do.” My heart stops at his words. “I knew when he woke up, and we were all together that we’d finally be able to be free with each other. To be who we really are.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard the man talk to so much. Or so sensitively.

  “I’ve never been wanted for me before,” I quietly confess. I know Viktor loves me. I believe he does, but sometimes, I wish he’d never found me. I’m selfish for the thought, for wanting more than what I have.

  Daniel walks over to me, and I can feel my body drawing into itself. It’s what I’m used to. But he doesn’t allow me to hide. Pulling me into his arms, he doesn’t hesitate to lay his lips across mine and whisper, “We want you for everything you’re going to become.” I’m confused by his words. “We’re going to help you blossom. You’ll grow; you’ll laugh. But most of all, you’ll love and be loved. Open up to us, mi amore, and you’ll see the truth.”

  I can’t respond because he closes the small gap between us and plunders my mouth. Sweeping his tongue past my shocked gasp and into my mouth. His warmth mixes with mine. The salty flavor of Dimitri rests on his tongue, and I moan, wishing I could have done it with him.

  Heat hits my back, and I feel Dimitri’s hands peruse my body, touching me in places only they’ve known. Fueling my desire to have them both. To explore all these feelings that keep cropping up. I want nothing more than to give myself to Daniel and Dimitri, but I’m so afraid.

  Afraid of hurting.

  Of loving and losing.

  Mostly, I’m afraid I’ll be the one to hurt them.

  “You won’t break us, Nika.” Dimitri’s hoarse whisper echoes my thoughts.

  “When you’re ready—” Daniel pulls away from my lips—“we’ll be here. Both of us. That’s not going to change. We have time to learn everything we need to.” Dimitri’s body tenses behind me, and Daniel must feel it too. “Cool it, D, she knows you want to fuck her brains out. Give her a chance to work on being ready.”

  I don’t stifle my laugh very well until Dimitri groans out, “She’s ready. She’s ready for us both. She just won’t admit it,” while grinding his hardened length into the small of my back.

  He’s right, and he’s wrong.

  I am ready, and I will admit it.

  I just need to know that they’re ready for what us as a trio will mean to the people in our lives. I get the feeling they won’t give a fuck unless it affects me. I don’t know how Viktor, Nikolai, or Kodiak will react. They’re the only family I have, and if they can’t—or won’t—accept these men, I’m not sure what I’ll do.

  8

  Dimitri

  After our moment on the balcony was broken with me and Daniel bickering again like an old married couple, we were quick to catch our next flight. Sooner than I led King or Viktor to believe. Danika balked at first, wanting to go home, go back to her life. Until I asked her if that included us.

  She paled when I informed her that if we were going home that meant back to Florida for Daniel and me. Before the younger man could object, she’d told us to hurry up and pack. Instead of laughing at how quickly she caved, I kept my amusement to myself. Daniel just glared at me for even giving her an option.

  I keep brushing him off, and I know it’s only a matter of time before he fights back in any way he can.

  The flight to North Carolina is a long one, and we’re all going to be more exhausted when we land in a different time zone again.

  “How did you wind up in North Carolina?” Danika looks up to me as I caress her injured hand in the light of the sun from the windows on the plane.

  Blowing out a breath, I knew the explanation was going to have to come sooner or later. “I wasn’t born in the U.S. My parents emigrated from Georgia when I was seven. First, we lived in Boston before we moved to D.C. where my father got a good job.” I can see she wants to say the one that ultimately killed them, and she wouldn’t be fucking wrong. “We took a trip to North Carolina when I was a teenager, before things went bad.” It’s one of my best memories. “When I found out the man who rented us a cabin was selling it about eight years ago, I bought it. I’ve only been there a handful of times since then. Because of the undercover job, I haven’t had much time to spend there.”

  “It was bad, wasn’t it?” Her question makes Daniel open his eyes to look at me. I know he wonders about the internal scars I bear from my UC time.

  “It wasn’t cupcakes and rainbows.” I try to laugh it off because if I think too deeply on it, I’m likely to go insane.

  Danika’s free hand lands on mine and squeezes. I don’t meet her stare because I know what I’ll see.

  Pity.

  Sympathy.

  Understanding.

&
nbsp; I don’t want nor do I need any of those. I need to let it go. Move forward. “I’m fine, Nika.”

  “Bullshit,” Daniel snorts, and I shoot him a glare over her head. “You’ve been fucking hiding from that for as long as I’ve known you, D. You accuse me of hiding from my part in Ariel’s torture, but you, man? Nah, you’ve been cowering. You haven’t confronted your shit, and until you do, you won’t move past it.”

  I’ll fucking kill the kid. “Just because you think you know, Danny-boy, doesn’t fucking mean you do.”

  “Ariel?” Danika asks softly. “She’s the one who was ready to die, right? The one who keeps Daniel up at night?”

  Why does she have to be so fucking insightful?

  “One and the same, yeah.” Daniel looks away, and I feel for the kid. Hitting a woman and handing her over to her tormentor was, in some ways, worse than what I ever did because she had found freedom. His nightmares aren’t a secret from me. I’ve watched and struggled to help the man. Maybe with Danika here now, we’ll all be able to find some semblance of acceptance and peace.

  When I was around, Ariel had never been free. She didn’t know what the world was like, and that someone was out there to love her. Now that she does, she’s blossomed. Even expecting their first kid. “But she’s okay now? She’s moving forward, isn’t she?” Danika looks expectantly between us both.

  “Yeah,” I tell her as the captain comes on the loudspeaker telling us we’re landing soon and what the local time and weather is. “She’s moving forward.”

  I still remember the first time I met Ariel. She was barely ten years old. Timothy had kept her locked away until she proved to him she knew her way around computers. I suspect he beat her into learning.

  “You’ll sit there quietly.”

  As I’m walking into the small office next to the security office, I hear Timothy speaking.

  “Yes, Father.” Shock holds me still at the soft words. Young voice.

  “You’ll do only as you’re told. Nothing more.” I look around the door jamb to see a girl of only about nine or ten standing with her hands behind her back and her head down as this man that I’ve come to despise more and more each day instructs her.

  “Yes, Father.” She’s meek, obedient.

  “Good girl.” He says it like she’s a fucking dog. She nods her head, and her red curls bounce around her like a spring. “Now pull up the accounts, find out who still owes what before we send the next shipment of kids.

  “Yes, Father.”

  Clearing my throat as she sits, I make my presence known. Her gaze briefly meets mine and in them is shattered defeat. A broken girl who knows far more about this dark life than even me.

  “Petrov!” Timothy greets me like we’re long lost friends. “Just the man I wanted to see. This is my daughter Ariel. She’s finished her training and is ready to begin her work!” How the fuck can he be proud of this shit?

  My gaze leaves her as I answer him, cooling my expression to show no emotion. “That’s great. I didn’t know you had a daughter.” He frowns at me like I’m digging for more. I am, but I’m not. There was never any intel on this child. My monthly reports back to my FBI partner and handler, Miller Evans, never unearthed this secret.

  “Now you do,” he snaps, ushering me from the room. Wherever she’s been hiding, her life is over now. She’ll never be normal again.

  I should have fucking taken the child then. Stolen her away. Ariel only grew more distant with time, and it didn’t take a genius to know she would eventually try to kill herself. She would have been at peace then.

  If not for Luther, she’d be in a shallow grave at the bottom of the river. I have so many regrets from my undercover time. A lot of things I wish I’d done differently. That Miller had done differently.

  “A life of regrets will get you nowhere, Dimitri,” Danika says as the plane lands, and we prepare to disembark. “If she’s moving on, maybe it’s time you both do, as well. Forgive yourselves the same way she has.”

  I share a look with Daniel, and in his expression, I see the same thoughts as me…

  If only it were that simple.

  Danika

  As we drive along the bumpy backgrounds, sleep tries to take me away. As much as I want to give in, I can’t seem to. All I can think about is the shared look between these strong men as we left the airplane. It’s almost as if they’re daring each other to go first. If one breaks, then maybe the other will. And maybe, I’ll have to help them along with it.

  Dimitri had a staggering goal in mind with his undercover work. The toll it obviously took on him is much greater than I’ll be able to heal myself, so I know getting Daniel to move forward first is going to be my biggest mission. The sweet man has so much love within him that I don’t think he’s even aware of it. I know he has to be tough in this world, to do what he does, but with us, Dimitri and I, he’s completely different. There’s a trust with us, he doesn’t show anyone else.

  Exhausting myself with my turnaround thoughts, I watch the two men in the front seat of the vehicle as trees pass, and I spread out on the empty seat. The stitches in my leg itch with each passing minute, and I want to rip them out.

  “Don’t scratch,” Daniel snips when my arm moves to do just that.

  Huffing out a laugh, I tell him, “I wasn’t going to.” The lie obvious.

  “You were,” he counters pointedly. “And if you do, I’ll tie your hands up.”

  “Promise?” His eyes widen at my request before a smolder burns deep in their depths. The air in the vehicle grows heavy with arousal from all three of us, but no one makes a move to break it.

  We seem to be stuck in this limbo state where we all know what we want but are unsure of how to achieve it. I know I have my own demons to work through. Doing what I did, going to Russia, it wasn’t the smartest move on my part, and regret burns an acidic hole in my heart. They never should have had to chase me. I should have remained here, waiting. Praying for a miracle.

  Exhaustion pushes me into a light sleep, and soon, I’m nodding off to the sounds of wind blowing through the open windows and the smooth engine as we drive.

  They don’t realize it, and on some level neither do I, but I hear them talking, thinking I’m out cold. I’m stuck in that weird restful but awake state.

  “You think she’s even ready for this?” Daniel says quietly.

  Dimitri snorts before answering. “Are any of us?” And I feel slightly better. The doubts seem to outweigh any of our wants, and I hate it. “She’s stronger than we know. Vik told me some stuff she went through in France. I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

  “Except for us.” Daniel sounds angry, but maybe they’ll finally start talking.

  “What?”

  “Ariel.” Is all Daniel says, and they’re quiet after that.

  Maybe not.

  A tear squeezes through my closed eyes and worry seeps into my heart. If they can’t move forward, then we can’t move forward, and that more than anything else is my biggest fear.

  Dimitri

  I’ve hesitated to say anything since leaving the airport, but we’ve had someone following us, making me regret bringing them here. I understood there was a chance someone would realize this place belonged to me but never did I think an old enemy would come looking.

  Not now, not after nearly eleven years out of the active game. Being undercover meant my life had been scrubbed clean. Any trace of me in the federal system was gone. The only people who knew of my existence was my handler and the director of the FBI. While I don’t think they’d come after me, I may have to look more into it.

  The last road leading up to the cabin only leads to my place, so when I see the car continue on the highway, I breathe a sigh of relief. While there isn’t much out this way, they could be going to any of the cabins a few miles east of mine.

  “You thought they were following us?” Daniel asks. I should have known he’d have seen.

  “I don’t know. They’
ve been on us since the airport,” I confess quietly, not wanting to wake Danika in the back. We’ve gone back and forth on whether she’s strong enough to handle the both of us that I’m sick of waiting.

  I want her.

  I want him.

  And right now, we’re fucking becoming one.

  Parking behind the cabin, I shut the vehicle off and turn to Daniel. Gripping the back of his neck, I bring his face to mine and capture his lips in a possessive kiss. One full of intent and promise.

  “Right fucking now, you’re both mine,” I hiss out when I pull back, and he bites my lip.

  “I’ll grab her,” Daniel says with more confidence than previously where she was concerned. I know he’s worried that Danika and I have a more profound bond than they do, but that’s not the case.

  Sure, we know each other slightly better, but she knows him on an emotional level that I haven’t yet breached. I hide my jealousy by taking control, proving to them both that I’m in it for the long haul, but I know they both feel the distance I can’t seem to fight against.

  “Mi amore, we’re here.” I can hear Daniel tell her softly as she wraps her arms and legs around him as he pulls her out of the back, while I get our bags.

  “Here?” Her sleepy voice asks as he walks up the dirt walkway. The cabin itself is rustic as hell. Doesn’t look like much on the outside, but the inside is state of the art everything.

  “Damn, D.” Daniel whistles as he enters to see the loft floor above the main level. I wanted everything open here, nowhere to hide.

  “Take her up, I’ll be there in a minute.” I have to turn on the power and water from out back, so it’s ready for when we are.

  Coming back inside, I double check the locks on the doors before I head up the stairs to the loft to find Nika and Danny-boy both passed out cold in the middle of the bed, fully clothed.

  The picture the two of them make—her dark looks matched with his light ones—anyone would call perfect. Not me.